Beyond Baby Showers: Why we need to talk about postpartum
Medical Disclaimer: The information in this article is based on personal experiences and is for conversational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
We are not licensed medical providers, and this content should not guide decisions
about your health. If you are experiencing postpartum anxiety, postpartum depression, or any other mental health concerns, we strongly encourage you to consult a qualified healthcare
professional.
If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a trusted medical provider or dial 988 for assistance through 988Lifeline.org.
I was on a walk with my work-provided wellness coach when she asked how my “not planning but not preventing for a year” family planning was going. I froze, realizing I had completely stopped tracking or even thinking about it. I counted on my fingers, immediately got off the phone, and rushed to buy a pregnancy test.
Those two little lines forever changed our lives for the better. We collectively make great efforts to prepare new families for the arrival of a baby. One topic I rarely hear discussed at baby showers? Postpartum mental health. I struggled with postpartum anxiety (PPA). Given my lifelong battle with anxiety, it wasn’t surprising, but distinguishing PPA from my “usual” anxiety—or from the exhaustion that any new parent might feel—was challenging.
I was anxious before my baby’s arrival. Loving a person as part of your own soul and ultimately having very little control over their safety and wellness as they exist outside of your body is something that is hard to explain. It’s definitely one of those “Big Feelings” we talk about on Mama’s Gonna Make It podcast. The overwhelm of the unknown is vast. Babies need so many THINGS! (Or do they?) If you’re preparing for your first, talk to a few people who’ve recently had kids to guide your registry—then resist the temptation to buy all-the-things before the baby arrives. I wish I had set aside more funds to buy what my baby actually needed rather than my stockpile of sterilized and cabinet-ready bottles and pacifiers that my kid absolutely refused to use.
In case anxiety hadn’t already set in, every item someone gave me or that I lovingly collected in preparation for my child had a warning tag telling me the ways misuse would harm my baby. It
was ROUGH. Don't even get me started on the recalls. I swear one fourth of my baby registry has been recalled by now. I was reading pregnancy books, following car seat safety pages, and tracking my food and daily vitamins. Anxiety can be a powerful tool, and it motivated me to be incredibly
prepared for our little one, as much as any new parent can be. Now for postpartum talk. This is not in any way medical advice and is not intended to be taken as such. You are responsible for your own care and seeking out help in whatever way is appropriate.
These are thoughts I want to share from my own experience that I’d do differently.
First: Plan as if you will deal with Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) and/or Postpartum Depression (PPD). I wish I'd talked to my provider more about what that may look like. It is much easier to cancel a care plan than it is to create one when you’re in the thick of it. I wish I had known how my anxiety would lie to me. Depression lies too.
My anxiety convinced me that if I wasn’t anxious, my baby’s health and life were at risk. What I didn’t know then: there were many intervention options I could have engaged that would not shut off my maternal instincts or my passionate care for my kid’s wellbeing. I would have empowered myself with information so I knew what options were available. In hindsight, I wish I'd sought treatment I also wish I’d brought my partner/key support person into that conversation with my provider.
Our partners can be crucial in recognizing the signs of postpartum anxiety or depression—what’s normal, what’s not, and how to provide support. As a first-time dad, my husband's first instinct was to trust mine, which I deeply appreciate. With more preparation and education, he also might have encouraged me to seek help sooner.
Finally, know that you’re not alone. You’re not the first and you’re not the last. There is nothing you’ll face that parents have not faced for generations in some form or another. At the same time, your birth story - and your postpartum battle - are your own and absolutely unique to you. You are powerful and deserve a positive parenthood experience. Lean on your support systems—they’ll be essential to your journey. You’ve got this, friend.
For more information on postpartum mental health, visit Moms's; Mental Health Matters: Find Help - NCMHEP
