Downsizing: Don't rush me
So many have heard or said "Don't Rush Me!" And "I will do it myself" or how about this one, "Not until I'm dead list" when talking with your parents about downsizing or preparing to right size.
Why rush if you don't have to? Prepare now so the frenzy of sorting, selling, donating, restoring, repurposing or simply throwing away is decreased significantly with less stress. That's a whirlwind sentence and rightfully so, as downsizing can be just that a whirlwind if you aren't preparing little by little in due time.
How is this monumental task from the family homeplace achieved? You've got decades of papers, thousands of pictures, countless
antiques, great-grandma and grandma's China, dad's collection of pocket watches ... you name it, you see it in the house, the attic, storage rooms, barns.
First, who wants what? Does your family members want particular items? If so, invite then over for a "take now party". Items wanted by yourself or family should be taken from the house first if possible. This gives you more room to sort and eliminates a prolonged discussion of "who wants what".
Secondly, the room by room approach works best for most. Do the easiest rooms first. Those rooms are the one typically having the least sentimental experiences. Those rooms include utility rooms, bathrooms, porches, attics, garages, out buildings, barns and tool areas.
Once those areas are completed, it's on to the next rooms. You are motivated at this point to continue the sorted, but now more of the emotions surface. Remember: room by room
again, drawer by drawer, box by box each with memories, surprises, mystery or the feeling of "sooner this is done, more space we have and on to next stages of life, experiences, more memories in the making.
Sorting room by room helps relieve the unbearable rush if left to the last minute before a sell or the retirement village calls with an available condo or room.
What is the "not until I die" list that my mother has for me? Simply, those are things she still wants to enjoy then once she's gone I can do with then what I wish. This is helpful to others thinking of downsizing. Create a list of things you want to pass along to the next generation even if your not ready to give to them now. This allows communication, story telling and the history of the items to be logged. Remember to list or photograph these items. If you have items not on this list, then now is the time to downsize them.
Project based downsizing (as I call this process) helps one focus on what you truly want to keep rather than being forced with limited time and not thinking rationally.
How long does downsizing, right-sizing, and decluttering take someone? This all depends on each individual, what they have accumulated thru the years and how willing they are to part with these items. Some will start right after retirement to go into the new phase of life refreshed. Others wait until the children have gone to college do reset and downsize, but wait what about the future grandkids? Will there be enough room if you downsize before grandkids or how realistic is grandparents/grandchildren times? If they are hundreds of miles away or live across country chances are they will not be back often. This realization also is a key indicator for downsizing to begin. Your adult children are too busy with their own lives raising your
grandchildren so start now in your home decluttering.
If you'd like, think of it as "cleaning the nest". The thorny vines "in your sides" of the totes, papers, the old sewing threads you can't see the thread the needles, the old lawnmower which will not crank, the colander too rusty to use
safely will never be used again. Get this stuff out of your space. "Take a bath" from this stuff that's been sitting around for years, not being used. Someone else can use if still worthy.
Utilitarianism, that socially functional word we learned in high school and college applies to this stage of life too. Are you going to actually use those dozen sheets and quilts again? If you are using items now, then keep and if the item is not being utilized for a usable purpose then say "bye bye and thank you" for the time it's spent with you.
Downsizing is a process thru time which should not be rushed, but should be done in a timely manner so it's not stressful when other life changing decisions have to be made immediately. There's no need to burden yourself
or family with accumulated stuff that can be taken care of gradually.
Downsizing is positive.
