Family Services preps parents to discuss recent gun violence

Family Services of Davidson County is one of several organizations offering crisis intervention and advice to local families. As many send thoughts and prayers to those from the small town of Uvalde, Texas, similar in size, the reported 21 people who were killed in an attack by a gunman at an elementary school has created concerns for parents. At least 19 children and two adults were among those killed on May 24 in a community of approximately 16,000 people.

Tim Tilley, executive director of Family Services of Davidson County, noted that heightened social media and media coverage of mass shootings creates division among adults and questions for youth. In the flurry of Facebook commentary, the agency posted, “There is no easy way to talk to our children about the senseless tragedy in Texas [Tuesday]. Your child may come home from school today with questions, concerns or just be scared. Be there for them, hug them a little tighter and use the tips below to have a conversation. We're here for you. 24/7 Crisis Line - 336-243-1934.”

Tilley called media coverage repetitive. “Children are getting hit with this all the time and we don’t realize that. They don’t know when they should set this aside. It’s devastating news and hard for parents to explain something that really doesn’t make sense. Especially when children die.” As a licensed marriage and family therapist for over 30 years, Tilley said he found it important to talk to his adult children about stepping away from the repeated images. “The most important thing is keeping a steady routine. Let children talk, talk about safety planning. Is there an adult at the school [to whom they can feel safe talking]? Make sure the school is taking measures to ensure safety.” Tilley explained, that as violence happens, some children become “afraid of the world. It burns in their sleep. It could show up as school refusal. Finding themselves more clingy.”

Tilley added the agency often sees the lingering effects of children processing such tragedies and called the crisis team “more than ready” to help those struggling with these issues. Part of his personal practice is turning to “happy times,” whether they be family vacations or special memories with his children. He recognizes it’s not always possible with the flood of social media. “The community as a whole is still processing. Children as young as seven have cell phones. That is why we’re here 24 hours a day.”