Kassie's Column: Let's Talk About Friendships

My dear friend, classmate and “brother”, Brandon, passed away in November. He was truly one of the best friends to all of his friends. {Contributed photo}

Friends? How many of us have them? 

Friends? Ones we can depend on?

These lyrics, coined by legendary Hip Hop group, Whodini, regularly leave me in a state of analyzation. They take me to a place where I tend to review who I can trust in almost every area of my life, who I can call about certain things, who I can call who will drop whatever they’re doing immediately to be by my side, who I can call when I want to go out and have a random of night of fun that includes dancing, singing loudly and Waffle House trips, who I can call to road trip with me to explore some unfamiliar location and who I can call if someone needs to be reminded I have a whole team behind me that is ready to do whatever is necessary to assure I’m good.

When I think about the people who fit into these categories, a wide variety of persons come to mind. Some fit into multiple spaces where some only fit in one area. For me, it works. For others, it’s sometimes a cause for concern. 

For years, I’ve heard people in very braggadocious tones comment about how their friendship circle is small or how they refuse to have many friends because people will ultimately prove they’re not who you’ve believed them to be. I’ve often sat amid these conversations that have forced me to ponder whether I’ve been too gullible in this department of my life. 

I evaluate people up close. I observe them from afar. I study their patterns. I note their actions. I listen to their words. I witness their change. And doing this has led me to a groundbreaking conclusion: I have a lot of friends.

Earth shattering stuff, right?!

Let me break it down for you though. 

I’m one of those people who uses the word loosely. 

I never use the word acquaintance. Out of my mouth, you will hear one of three things: 1) That’s my friend/We’re friends, 2)We’re/He’s/She’s cool or 3)That’s someone I know but I don’t really know them

If I call you a friend then you’re someone I value and trust. However, there are levels to this. I have four best friends. They all serve a variety of purposes and depending upon what’s going on, one will get a phone call before the others do, if I even call them. It’s not because I can’t trust them all but they all have their strengths so I lean on them in different areas for different things. 

I also have close friends. These are the friends that I may not call and lean on as much as the best friends, but they’re people who’ve proven over and over that they’re loyal, supportive and worthy of my energy.

I also have friends. These are the ones I don’t always share some of the more personal details of my life with but they too have shown me that I can trust them, to some extent.

This is what I know for sure.

All of our life experiences are unique. What works for one person may not work for someone else. What others have been subjected to may not be the same story the next person has. What is deemed as a negative by some may be a positive in someone else’s life.

Friends are one of my favorite parts of my life.

I have friends I’ve known before I could walk. 

I have friends I’ve known for over 38 years. 

I have friends I met in college.

I have friends I just met within the last few years.

For me, friendships go through waves and certain people are needed in our lives at certain times. Of course, I’ve had people in my life who I thought were my friends ultimately reveal themselves as fraudulent. Sure, I’ve had friendships end that I thought would last a lifetime. Sure, I have friends I didn’t like initially that are now people I can’t imagine doing life without.

We all have to be protective of ourselves, our lives and who we let have access to us. 

At the same time, it’s never a bad idea to give people a chance to see if they’re willing to prove they’re worthy of all that you have to offer as a friend. I believe it never benefits you to be so closed minded to the possibility that someone could be the person you need to be connected to in order to achieve your desired successes.

Friends are important whether you have one or one hundred.

I’m proud to say I have many and never again will I wonder if something is wrong because I’m in the minority. 

Everybody can’t hit the friend jackpot.

I’m glad I did!

P.S. To my friends: I LOVE YA’LL!!