Column: Encouragement and advice for caregivers
As we get older, everyone has to deal with ailments. For those that are coping with terminal diseases and other illnesses, having a caregiver may grow into a requirement. Many get thrust into the role of being a caregiver to help loved ones that become ill. I have served as a caregiver for five different loved ones and have advice to share to those that are coping with the enormous challenge of nursing loved ones during their difficult times.
Millions are assuming their roles of caregivers around the world.
As boomers and those of generation x get older, more people will have to step up to deal with new life changing issues. With the sheer volume of those who will need assistance, I encourage the community to step up and support area Hospice and care programs to help everyone to be prepared when the need arises.
When there is a sudden change in health and there was not time to prepare, new caregivers may be blind sided by the sheer challenges and upheaval that can be caused by becoming a caregiver.
Those serving as caregivers also know that lots of emotional energy is required to maintain joy and optimism. It is necessary for caregivers to regenerate and to refresh their emotions in order to be there for those in need.
Those dealing with their mortality and illnesses that can not be cured, have the tendency to lash out because they cant fix their health and thus often take their frustrations out on their caregiver who is doing all they can. They seldom feel up to offering praise and can voice their neverending needs. This is where patience is very important.
Caregivers should find support groups and the company of those that understand what challenges that their life holds because maintaining their quality of health is also critical while coping with these enormous challenges.
With more people taking on these responsibilities daily, counseling services have been developed to assist with resources. Information is available to help those who are responsible for the medications, care and the support of others.
In Davidson County here is a website with lots of sources to assist: https://caregiversofdc.com/resources/.
Personally, I would like to see some sort of discounted services for caregivers who are also taking on financial issues and forgoing other opportunities to make additional income while they provide care.
In the case of the eventual loss of a loved one, All caregivers need guidance to help navigate the loss and to attend to legal issues and final requests. It may be wise to consider discussing and arranging power of attorney duties and arrangements during the later stages. Itss very important to have the difficult conversations like where is the will and other documents or what are their investments including who are their contacts at their investment firms. Often having these conversations are avoided because of our desire to keep loved ones focused on the positive potential of longer life, but it is important to help get their affairs in order.
I advise spending as much time during your caregiving concentrating on activities and memories they enjoy. Perhaps revisiting a hobby that they love like gardening. I helped my partner who had terminal breast cancer go out to the garden and care for her plants, which always cheered her up. Little did I know she was planting perennial gifts for me as with every season there are new plants blooming. When I notice these gifts emerging, I often tear up but also my heart is warm and I can feel her presence.
It is my hope that these suggestions from my experiences help those dealing with the challenges of caregiving. If you have to take on the challenges of helping someone, may you constantly see the joy that can be found in caregiving. I miss all of those I helped and I am quite grateful to have had moments where I really got to know them better.
God bless you as we endure adversity together.
