Downsizing: Staying mindful of your family history by Melissa Darr
I grew up eating off your grandmother's China with an array of food on the marble buffet table. The family listened to old music from the old cranked Victrola. There are pictures from your great-great grandparents arrival on Ellis Island.
Now, you too are ready to pass these items plus hundreds of more precious family heirlooms. The most important thing for you is not only keeping these heirlooms in the family, but telling the stories.
Many sat around that dining room table listening to stories from bygone decades. As a grandparent, adult child or grandchild, this is your time to keep the stories alive.
Take a picture of the old buffet table for all your heirs, then let the story begin. The marble came from where? The carvings were handcrafted by which uncle? The wood was from which home place? What were those famous family recipes that were served? Ambrosia? Tomato Aspic?
Beef Wellington? Banana Pudding? Tell your younger family members about the old metal toy in the barn. No bells, no microchips ... you made your own sounds of whistles, dinging bells, skinned knees from banging the medal. You road on dirt and gravel driveways, maybe jumped a few mud holes.
Those old cowboy boots in the corner will have you telling great stories too. You bought them in Wyoming from a cowboy you met on an All American road trip to Yellowstone. You write down the stories of meeting a bear from the outside of your tent. The stories continue from you.
What about those old black and white photos with the curly edges? Oh yes, those who most have no clue who is in the picture. That's another reason to tell the stories and write on them back of photo who, where, when those were taken. Do not throw them away! One day, that picture of great grandmother and grandpa's face will be the only thing you can hold and see them.
Your list will continue as you pull those boxes out from the top of the closet.
The six best ways to preserve those grand stories include :
1) Write the basic story per item.
2) Oral history per item.
3) Package of memories.
4) Photograph and share.
5) Log Family member’s memories
6) Tell me again
Writing a general or in-depth story of the item can also be shared among siblings/heirs if only one can enjoy the item on a regular basis. You then attach the story to the item. Make the history logging even more candid by taping your voice and face as you describe the item. You could have your younger members asking questions. This interactive fun will create memories too. What's a package of memories? That's a detailed version of legacy stories. You will take an item such as that old marble buffet table, add pictures from decades of meals, celebrations and gatherings. Those pictures and stories will be given to the heir of each piece. This allows all the stories of one piece to continue.
Pictures are worth a thousand words as we have all heard. So are pieces of family heirlooms. Take pictures of the items, give to each family member and then tell the stories. What memories do all your family and friends remember of that antique dining room table? Have each person write a few of the times they experienced around the table. Which hymns were your favorites played on the Victrola? How did you get the table all the way from Asia? "Tell me again" ... that's right. Preserving your family memories is also a big part of the next generations responsibility. Ask your grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins what they remember. It's ok to ask, write down, record and preserve.
What happens if you have no heirs? No one is interested in your stories, items? Yes, that's a sad feeling. Call a local museum or a museum based on the theme of the item. Some may be interested in the roll of fabric from the last textile mill in your town, that piece of China labeled as from Occupied Japan or those old coins your collected from your travels in Europe. There's no need to throw them away.
So as one begins downsizing, sorting items to give to family remember "tell the story". That's more valuable in most cases than the item itself.
