Cathy's Creative Corner: An Erroneous Error

Good morning, World! The sun is shining brightly through the bedroom blinds. I can feel today is going to be fabulous! Daylight saving time begins this weekend and the first day of spring is the weekend after that. On the blinds, I see shadows of tree limbs dancing in the wind cheering on the tiny leaves beneath their bark to awaken for the arrival of spring. The limbs are also releasing what few withered leaves are still clinging to their stems. “Out with the old, in with the new.” It’s that time of year.

I hear the faint notification alarm ding on my cellphone. What telemarketer is already at work? And when is the government going to make them stop using our phones to send junk mail? If I want your service, I will contact you. I stretch over to the nightstand to retrieve my phone and, lo and behold, it’s a message from my bank. The message states a deposit for $6,243,000 has been made into my account! Where are my glasses? I’ve got to call these people and let them know they’ve made an erroneous error! The error of all errors! Putting money in a poor girl’s account? They need to correct this before they have me going to jail! And I’m not calling the number on this notification. There’ll probably be scammers waiting on the other end of the line to take what little chump change I do have in my account. Using a phonebook, I look up the number to my bank.

“Hello. Good morning to you, too. It will be a GREAT morning if you tell me this $6 million deposit made into my account actually belongs to me. But that’s not the way my luck goes so don’t worry about hurting my feelings.” The bank representative assured me that if I wasn’t expecting an annuity payment or lottery winning, then it probably was a mistake. I could hold on or she could call me back. “Just call me back. I’m in no hurry ‘cause I know what you’re going to find. And make sure they leave my little piece of money when they withdraw these extra funds,” I laughed.

I didn’t even have time to get excited about the deposit before reality tapped me on the shoulder giving me that, now you know stare. Just what would I do with all that money? I’ve never been a name brand person. Why give my money to people who are already rich and couldn’t care less about me? And I love my little house. I just want to be able to get it back to the state it was in when I first moved in. Maybe add another bathroom and expand the current one. But I definitely am not a mansion type of person. That means higher utility bills and property taxes. I’ve got to pinch off my $6 mil! I hear a lot about cryptocurrency and bitcoin. My impression is it’s a system created by wealthy people for wealthy people. They won’t be getting any of my $6 mil either. If need be, I’ll just use the tried-and-true method, a financial advisor.  On the other hand, how many mattresses do you think it’ll take to stuff in $6,243,000?      

My phone is ringing. It must be the bank confirming what I already know. However, looking at the caller ID, it’s my cousin who lives next door. “Hello?”

“Hey, cuz. Have you seen all the activity outside? Vans pulled up past my neighbor’s house and people got out with cameras, flowers and balloons. A news crew just came and everyone is starting to walk back your way. Go look! You should be able to see them!”

I can’t answer. I can’t move. Is today going to be that GREAT day I foretold to the bank rep? The knock on the door seals the deal! The oversized check says $10,000,000 in winnings! The mysterious deposit was only …  ??? WHO CARES? I am NOT the one to squabble over the reward after taxes! Especially since my only expense is the cost of a magazine subscription.